


In Which Eret Gets His Sword Stolen (and Other Unsurprising Events)

by Chromosomefarm



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Anal, Bondage, F/M, Fluff, Frottage, Frotting, Gay, Heterosexual, M/M, Oral, Smut, Vaginal, blowjob, clothed, gay seduction, spectator, tummy bulge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 06:02:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6143863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chromosomefarm/pseuds/Chromosomefarm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Eret is seduced by a conveniently-bound Astrid, he's about to learn a lot more about those barmy Berk people, and himself. A goofy romp in the realm of Hicretstrid, the beginning of a trio of some... very good friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Eret Gets His Sword Stolen (and Other Unsurprising Events)

This was quite the vulnerable predicament, Astrid thought.

Sure, it had been quiet enough in the village lately. Hiccup’s mother had flown the coop entirely and was not expected to return for at least a couple days, and Gobber was busy enough at the forge to not be a nuisance at this hour.

There certainly could’ve been worse times to find oneself tied fast to one of the supporting beams of the Chief’s living room.

Hiccup ought to have known better than to tinker with things at the house, but in Astrid’s opinion he’d gotten all too comfortable with spreading out projects wherever he pleased. After all these years of pretty mishaps, you’d think he’d know how to calibrate devices so that they didn’t launch unexpectedly by now, but it remained practically his signature.

She’d expected it of course. She was sensitive by now to that tell-tale squeak. She’d raised a leg to kick it out of the way, and the only reward she’d got for her foresight was her knee tied right up against her chest, her torso and arms tied inexorably by exceptionally heavy bolas cords to the sturdy wooden beam.

Hiccup had tried his best to pick out the knots already, first with his clever fingers, then with the tools he’d had handy. Toothless had even given it an evaluating gnaw, first without teeth, then with. Hiccup’s own handiwork had held fast, just as it was supposed to.

Was it comfortable? Not really. A little stretching of the hips was always healthy, though. Good for the back, essential for dragon-riding, and relatively easy to add to one’s fitness routine. Lunges, high kicks, toe touches, lots and lots of creative sex… Astrid had done enough of all for the awkward pose not to be much bother.

Though anyone would be bothered after a while, she supposed. When was Hiccup coming back with the tools to get her down? Surely he wasn’t bantering away with Gobber when she was stuck here like this??

She breathed a sigh of relief as she heard someone ascending the porch.

“Took you long enough!” she called out good-naturedly. “Get in here already!!”

A man’s head poked cautiously through the door. “You were expecting me??”

It was not Hiccup.

It was Eret, Son of Eret, bulging arms laden with what looked to be exotic presents.

Astrid became uncomfortably aware of her plight again as he took it all in for a single awkward moment, eyes wide. “Why… Hello, Eret!”

Eret hastily unloaded the packages onto the floor and pulled the door shut, not even stopping to question the fact that he needed to assist the lady. He approached immediately to examine the ropes. “What happened to you, darling?!”

“Oh, me?” Astrid shrugged, watching with great interest as he approached and started tugging at the ropes. “Oh, you know. Just hanging out. What about you?”

Eret gave her an incredulous glance as he picked at a knot by her waist. Berk people were barmy as rabid boars. “Well, I was just stopping by with some gifts from the trade route for good friends. I must say, I wasn’t properly prepared for this sort of rescue.”

Astrid snorted humorously. “Oh, it’s fine. Hiccup will be back soon enough. He just had to get Inferno from down at the shop. I think it was… distilling. Or whatever it does.” She shrugged, giving a smirk. “This is all his fault, after all,” she pointed her free toe meaningfully toward the menacing little launcher still crouched on the floor.

Eret cast it a glance as well as he unsheathed his blade. “I see. Quite a position he’s left you in, eh?” He leaned in awkwardly over the top of her to try to slice at the rope binding her arms.

“You’re telling me.” Astrid stiffened awkwardly, staring at his massive chest. He smelled like sweat and musky rain-soaked fur.

He grit his teeth, trying his damnedest, but he had an inkling that the good-quality rope was doing more damage to his sword than the other way around. He gave a gruff snort. “You’re lucky to have the two of us. Any other ruffian to come calling might’ve seen fit to… take advantage of this sort of thing.”

Astrid raised her eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Eret leaned back a little, looking over her humorously. “Beautiful Viking princess tied up tight and all alone for the taking… Surely you understand what I’m getting at? Might as well trust that Nadder of yours not to go after a good roasted chicken.”

Astrid blinked, a pleasant shiver coursing through her. “Sounds to me like you’ve been having some ungentlemanly thoughts yourself, there, Eret,” she teased.

“Not I, darling,” he huffed, leaning back in to pick at the knots. “You wound me!” His expression was impossible to read, but Astrid thought she could still detect a whimsical note in his voice as she evaluated him with a deep curiosity.

Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “I suppose you’re right,” she mused. “If it had been anyone else, he would’ve been rutting my insides to hot sticky mush by now,” she snorted. “I don’t know that I would mind all that much. Would’ve served Hiccup right for just leaving me hanging like a hunk of meat! What did he expect? I’ve been bored to tears.”

Eret focused harder on the futile knot, trying to hide his incredulity. “Now, now, I hardly think mere boredom should be cause to invite something as violent as RAVISHMENT, don’t you?”

“Are you kidding?” she puffed, eyes glittering with a dangerous glee. “Boredom is one of the BEST reasons for a good ravishing. Don’t you know anything?”

Eret’s brows furrowed until he couldn’t stand the feeling of her imploring gaze against him any longer. He looked back down, utterly baffled. “How has Hiccup survived so long with a conniving creature like you?”

“Hiccup…is a lot tougher than he looks,” Astrid proclaimed happily. Her adoration for the young man was unquestionable, that much was clear; it certainly didn’t sound like the kind of bond a mere interloper could break. “And Hiccup knows he doesn’t own me. He isn’t stupid.”

“There can’t be many men that can handle a woman like you, Astrid,” Eret shook his head, leaning unconsciously against her raised thigh.

“There aren’t,” she agreed confidently. “So, Eret, when’s the last time you had the opportunity to ravish a beautiful Viking princess all tied up for the taking??”

“I can’t say I ever– What sort of question is that??”

“You brought it up first!” Astrid shrugged. “I just noticed you aren’t nuts deep in me yet, and I was sort of wondering if maybe that kind of thing had become a bore to you by now.”

“H-Hardly, miss! I’ll have you know–!!”

“–So I’m just not your type, then?” Her eyes narrowed. 

Eret stared disbelievingly. She didn’t seem to need reminding that she was one of the loveliest ladies this part of the Archipelago. Not his type…!?

“Oh, I’ve got it!” she laughed. “You have a SMALL PENIS, don’t you??”

Now THAT… was taking it too far. Not knowing what else to do, Eret pointedly leaned forward and pressed his body between her legs.

Astrid shivered. He was hot and all wrapped up in layers and layers of thick fabric, but underneath she could feel something thick and throbbing and by absolutely no means small.

Eret sighed, satisfied. That seemed to clear that up for her.

Astrid gazed up at him with a new appreciation. She couldn’t help it; she pushed hungrily against him, curious to feel more. “For Thor’s sake…It's…When did you get so hard??”

Eret probably should’ve drawn away, but didn’t think to, watching numbly for a moment as she nudged him. “I- I don’t know what man would be able to help it. I just didn’t think it would be gentlemanly to– ”

“It wouldn’t be gentlemanly of you to shove all that up against me and then not put it in,” Astrid countered eagerly. Surely it was just as agonizing for him as it was for her? She bit her lip, unable to keep from grinding against him.

Eret felt a twinge, felt himself leaning into her, his knees getting sort of weak, and he pushed himself back in horror, but there was nothing for it. The lack of contact was even worse. His face twisted into a grimace. “You play this sort of game with every man, Astrid?”

She snorted, blinking up at him with glee. “Of course not. I have standards.” She flailed her free leg helplessly. “Being tied to a pole may have lowered them considerably, though. If I were you I’d take the opportunity while I’ve got it.” She smiled in that unabashed, outright insane way these Berk people seemed to have. “Most folks around here would beat each other up to have a chance at the Terrible Astrid Hofferson and come away with all their teeth.”

Eret shook his head helplessly. “Funny,” he huffed. “I suppose all I see is a needy little wench who really ought to be taught a lesson or two.”

Astrid blinked with pleasant surprise. “You have no idea how lucky you are that my fists are tied,” she scoffed. “I think you’re all talk.”

“Ah, is that so…?” He gave an amused huff, clasping his huge hands hesitantly over the curves of her waist. “My dear, I was simply under the impression that you enjoyed feeling your little boyfriend inside you, yes?” He perused her compact, well-maintained body, tongue clicking. “I’m afraid if you let a rouge like me have my way, I might just ruin that poor little quim of yours for good in a single thrust.” He puffed, shaking his head thoughtfully. “That would be such a shame, wouldn’t it?”

“You?” she snorted, tensing pleasantly under his touch and his hungry gaze. “Ruin ME? Please.” She rolled her eyes. “What kind of dainty Peaceables have you been poking to get that full of yourself? You’ve clearly never had a proper woman.”

Eret raised an eyebrow, finding it harder and harder to pull his eyes back up from her lovely body. “It certainly has been a while.” His fingers brushed cautiously at her thigh. “I don’t know if you can trust me to be civil about it.”

Astrid laughed warmly, her eyes lit with an impish gleam. “Then don’t be.”

His big, clumsy fingers found themselves on her waistband, then hesitated. His mouth twisted into a cautious, sheepish smile, his gaze slowly floating back up to meet hers. Her expression wasn’t much different; for all her talk, she quite simply seemed so much friendlier than some lofty seductress. The fact that her deadly fists were tied was certainly helpful.

She squirmed awkwardly. “Go on, then!”

Eret cast a hesitant look over his shoulder towards the door. He couldn’t believe he was doing this.

He leaned in, his hands shaky but eager. “Gods, I wish that shirt of yours wasn’t tied down…” he grumbled, unable to hide a bit of disappointment, tugging regretfully at the rope across her ribs. “You’re almost tied too tight to get into at all, aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” she puffed, writhing impatiently. His heat so close to her, his musky smell, was making her feel awfully empty. “Maybe if you do a good job of it, you can see more of me some other time, huh?”

Eret chuckled, shaking his head, his fingers crawling up under her skirt to find her waistband. “What would Hiccup think of that?”

“I’m sure Hiccup would appreciate a break from time to time.” Her eyes narrowed in delight. “You think I’m joking!” she snorted. “In any case, it’s not Hiccup’s vagina to speak for, is it? That boy can barely keep track of his own holes.”

“I suppose you’re right…” He shook his head in incredulity. Berk had such a funny way of thinking. Eret supposed he certainly couldn’t complain, though, as he inched back the leggings of the most envied woman in the Inner Isles. “Emmfh…” He lifted her other leg from where it hung uselessly and took it in his arm, relieving the tension on her pants to let him uncover another precious inch or two of her underside before the ropes prevented any further progress.

He grunted in mild disappointment. He wasn’t able to see anything past the fabric stretched between her legs, but the smell of the air had changed, making his insides writhe and rendering him uncomfortably aware of his own underbits aching to be free.

Hastily his free hand fumbled clumsily into his clothes and snatched up his vibrantly pulsing erection, nails accidentally nicking at it in his eagerness. His breath was unsteady, hungry as he wrestled it out, unconsciously leaning closer and closer to the girl.

“Hey, wait a second!” Astrid hissed, not sure that she could. “I– give me a look at that awesome monster before you–!”

Eret couldn’t help himself. It seemed like forever since he’d last had a girl, and he couldn’t endure one moment longer. Clumsily he slipped himself blindly over her wet underside, fumbling to find the way inside, and then–

“AH-ahh!” Astrid yowled as Eret shoved half of himself inside in a single thrust. She’d been so aroused, she’d thought she could take anything, but even part of Eret was more than she’d had from anyone else before, and it STUNG. “For T-Thor’s sake, Eret–!” she laughed, incredulous. “You're– so– you’re going to rip me up–!”  


“Mmmgfh,” Eret gasped gleefully, greedily jerking to try to bury himself deeper. “I did try to warn you, darling.” It was like coming in from a long cold day and curling up by the fire. She was so incredibly hot and cozy, aroused for him and delicious around his poor starving prick, her muscular body so trembling and fist-tight for him she might as well have been a virgin.

He drew out a bit, then slid back inside once more, this time as deep as he could possibly go. The feeling was positively divine. Seemed she could only take about three quarters of his shaft, but if there was a woman who could take more, he certainly had never rutted her. Poor little girls and their tiny cozy insides. “Mmmgh, gods!” he rumbled with relish. “M-my compliments to Hiccup–! Auugh…”

Astrid whimpered, electricity shooting through all her nerves. He was so terrifyingly HUGE, filling her completely, hurting less and less with every slow thrust, and she was struggling not to melt into a horny little incoherent mess as a hot, irresistible pleasure began to bloom inside her. It was difficult. Nonetheless that comment made her glare. “Wh-why Hiccup?”

Eret leaned in close, giving another dominating jerk inside, his hot breath tingling against her hair, tickling her ears. “For leaving you in such good shape for me,” he purred whimsically. He tasted the skin of her neck hungrily, not minding– even rather enjoying– how she tried to jerk away in her hesitance to accept it.

“You be nice– !” she hissed. “I’m the one keeping my– MYSELF in shape, you stupid– Ohhhh!” She made a noise like a Terror getting its tail stomped on as he began to really pump his hips, his huge heavy body smashing her helplessly against the post. Every thrust squeezed deep, deep inside her, knocked around her aching insides and dragged out more and more of her composure with every pass, almost as if he were somehow scrubbing her brains clean with his prick. Everything became warm and bubbly and Eret, Eret, Eret!!

Her breath was completely out of control, and though she struggled to find words to scream, only embarrassing wails escaped her as he brought her from mild disdain to quaking orgasm in a matter of moments, and then kept going on through it, he himself making weird animal grunts not unlike a bull-Gronckle.

Eret leaned in and greedily sucked away a few of Hiccup’s kisses from her mouth. Unlike the rest of her, she did not give these willingly, but his great maleness had rendered the Terrible Astrid Hofferson powerless to refuse with more than a pleasure-addled turning away of her head and a squeezing shut of her lips, which he easily overpowered with his searching tongue. Eret was not accustomed to gentle sweet nothings; he devoured her mouth like he did the rest of her, with the raw clumsiness of the dumb stud animal he was.

Astrid trembled in bliss. It was so interesting to see what kind of beast a sweet boy could become if you simply nudged him over the line. Eret ached, his size rendering him slower and clumsier than Hiccup, whose much smaller instrument was much more precisely pleasurable and easier for him to maintain control of if he tried to jackrabbit at frantic speeds.

This-? This was truthfully almost uncomfortable; but Astrid figured that was what was driving her wild about it. Being done over by some terrible strange prick, stolen and pounded and used like breeding was all she was for, and there was nothing she could do to make him stop, to make him be gentle… She didn’t want him to be gentle.

Eret purred, dragging another climax out of her from her unreached deep insides, feeling her squeal and squeeze hungrily around his prick again. “Such a needy little lady…” he rumbled happily. “You really want it, don’t you??” Electricity jittered through him. It would be so very very wrong to come inside of her, leave her womb all seeded and sticky for his good friend to come home and find, maybe dip himself right into… It certainly would not be gentlemanly. But she was squeezing him too tightly, milking him, begging him… He knew he wouldn’t be able to resist.

Eret leaned in, his animal moaning rather out of control as he thrust even more frantically. He could feel that delicious, electric tingling gripping him by the testicles, preparing a blissful explosion. “Uuugfff! Nnngh… It’s all for you, darling!” he howled.

That’s when everything happened at once.

Eret heard a clatter on the floor and felt a brush between his legs, a sharp sting, a strange flash of cold as something fluffy pried every inch of him straight out of Astrid and immediately swallowed him again into a different vice grip of smoother, curiously undulating hot flesh that sucked tightly shut and rippled around him. The sensation was so sudden, so delicious that he was already blasting his seed before he could even process what was going on.

“Ughff….?!”

He looked down.

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock, the chief of the Isle of Berk, was blinking back up at him quite matter-of-factly, nothing but a slight twitch of the eyelid to indicate any discomfort in the fact that he’d completely swallowed a fat eel’s length of interloping girl-soaked prick as smoothly as someone with half the teeth and twice the neck.

Hiccup said something between his dutiful gulps of seed, which was probably “Hello, Eret!” but of course the obstruction made it rather difficult to be sure.  


Eret gave a rather ironically unmanly yowl and yanked himself away as he fell back in utter horror, flinging a viscous thread of semen right between Hiccup’s eyes. “H-Hiccup! Oh T-thor, it’s not what you–!” he stammered, his lack of eloquence to talk himself out of this fix further fettered by a feeling of profound, shocked violation.

Hiccup’s long wet lashes fluttered in surprise as he clasped his narrow throat and coughed; he’d quite confidently swallowed the whole thing, but the sudden disgorgement seemed to have him entirely out of sorts. “Aggh-mm! HM!” He gulped again, raising a finger to indicate he was trying to speak. “Erm–! It’s really–!”

“Hic-cup!!” Astrid whined in protest, giving him a biff on the back of the head with her free leg. “You couldn’t have waited just one more second?! You could’ve at least let him finish me up.”

Hiccup turned to look up at her pointedly, gesturing vaguely at his face. “I– gugh… I wasn’t going to butt in, but I was kind of having trouble thinking up a few decades of excuses for raising the son of an Eret, you know?” he chuckled good-naturedly, giving another delicate cough and a swallow; it sounded like something was still stuck on the back of his tongue.

“Ohhh….!” Astrid blinked in realization, even as she gave an unsatisfied squirm. “…I guess I’ll forgive you this time…” she grumbled. “You try getting done over by a prick like that and see how much you want to throw him off.”

Hiccup laughed nervously, peering back over his shoulder at his friend on the floor, staring slightly too intently toward his face in a polite attempt to disregard the limpish brown monster of a penis still drooping from Eret’s trousers.

Eret clasped helplessly at his forehead in shame, his head still spinning in shock, his feet pawing vaguely at the floor in a half-realized semblance of escape. “I–I deeply apologize, friend,” he stammered. “Please trust me, I had no intention of–”

Hiccup snorted, shrugging. “Please! I’m sorry she… put you in this situation.” He peered pointedly back up at her. “I know this one can be… very persuasive when she wants to be.”

Astrid grinned. “Me? You’re the one who left me all tied up for the taking! It’s not my fault he couldn’t resist!”

“That’s not–!” Eret began lamely.

Hiccup shook his head. “Knowing her, you’d at least have a few bruises if she hadn’t been all for it.” He patted her free leg affectionately.

Eret swallowed hard.

“It’s true,” murmured Astrid, squirming happily as Hiccup poked hesitantly at her pinkened quim. “Mmmfhg…”

“He really did you over, didn’t he?” Hiccup whistled.

“Did you see the size of that thing?! He just about had me going for the third time when you barged in, you mangy prick-licker,” she confessed. “Didn’t seem to give you much trouble either! Drank it all and didn’t even work for it,” she muttered. “You should’ve seen the poor thing’s face.”

Hiccup cast an apologetic gaze over his shoulder again. “I really didn’t mean to surprise you like that, Eret. Just thought I’d, um, save myself some trouble.” He shrugged. “I guess prick-sucking must be one of those quirky Berk things, huh?”

Eret blinked in disbelief. “Well… I certainly can’t say I’ve ever had a MAN do it…” he managed, gruffly.

Hiccup’s ears pinkened. “…Right.” He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “So the, um, look of horror– that wasn’t my technique, then?”

Eret blinked again. He’d never met anyone who could get more than the first couple inches in, nevermind the whole length without a scrape; but his pride lent him no eloquence to comment on his skill. Was that even something that deserved compliments??

Really, why wouldn’t it be? It had certainly felt spectacular.

Eret’s insides writhed. This was so confusing.

Hiccup shrugged. “I was afraid it hurt you or something, the way you, um, retreated, there.”

Eret shook his head numbly. He cleared his throat, “No… not at all… Sorry about the… um…” He gestured. Hiccup was still wearing his semen casually over his face, a stomach-twisting parody of the chief-mark Eret had watched him receive not long ago. How could any man, a CHIEF, bear to wear that, much less swallow it up? Didn’t it… burn, or something?

“What, this?” Hiccup reached up hesitantly to touch at the splatter of semen on his forehead, delicately stretching out a string of it onto his finger. Absently, without a hint of disgust nor seduction, he poked this into his mouth as naturally as a Terror might a skewered winkle, as if this was something generally expected of a Viking chief. “It happens. It really wasn’t any trouble though.”

Astrid laughed. “Can’t stop til you swallow it all, can you?”

Hiccup hissed skeptically. “I keep telling you that’s the only way to do it.” Almost reverently, he scooped the rest from his brow and squeezed it thoughtfully between his fingers.

“Not if it tastes like rotten seawater, it isn’t,” she scoffed, wrinkling her nose.

“Astrid!” Hiccup scolded. He cast another glance at Eret, shaking his head. “It’s not that bad,” Hiccup assured.

Eret blinked in disbelief.

“It’s not!” Hiccup stood, holding up his fingers to Astrid. “Give him a try! You earned it. It’s more like…” his tongue shifted contemplatively inside his mouth, “Mutton stew.”

Astrid sucked the seed from his fingers rather too eagerly herself, shifting it over her tongue thickly. Her nose wrinkled as she apparently evaluated the flavor. “Mmngh. Sort of like… carrots.” She smacked decisively, nudging Hiccup’s temple with her own. “Not as sweet as yours. More, um… pungent. Not bad, though.” She snorted. “And you’ve got a whole belly full of that, huh?”

Hiccup smiled, nuzzling her affectionately. “I won’t need lunch, I think.”

Eret cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Um… forgive me if this is too forward, Hiccup, but are you, um…” He wasn’t sure how to phrase it respectfully to a friend and a chief. “Just a bit… of a, well, Sword Stealer?”

Hiccup’s face bloomed a dark pink, and Astrid’s brow furrowed.

“He has a GIRLFRIEND,” Astrid pointed out.

“…That’s right!” Hiccup seconded lamely, shrugging.

Eret threw up his hands apologetically. “I meant no disrespect! I just noticed you seemed to have a certain familiarity with…” He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “I’m not sure there’s anything wrong with being a bit, um…”

Eret respected Hiccup, and if Hiccup was a little bit… that way, it couldn’t be all that bad, could it? It certainly wouldn’t be the only way that Hiccup completely overthrew Eret’s ideas of what it meant to be a man, a chief.

Eret hated that his prick had not quite gone totally limp. He couldn’t bring himself to tuck it away, though. Subconsciously it seemed the only pawn he had to prove he was a match to Hiccup’s gentle, confusing charisma.

Hiccup tilted his head thoughtfully, finally working on slicing Astrid free of her bonds with controlled flashes of fire. “I guess you could say I’m a bit of a… survival Sword Stealer,” he conceded.

Astrid elbowed him as she descended. “You ARE a dragon trainer, after all,” she snorted, rubbing her wrists and popping her neck.

Hiccup rolled his eyes. “It’s just another way my big mouth can get me out of trouble,” he drawled. “It’s not entirely … PLEASANT, but… it’s surprisingly PERSUASIVE.” He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “It’s given me an, um, diplomatic edge, from time to time. No task is too dirty when it comes to serving your people, is it?”

Eret blinked. “I couldn’t imagine many would be all that receptive to that sort of favor from a MAN, could they?”

Astrid rifled her future husband’s hair fondly. “You know how tenacious Hiccup can be.”

“True,” murmured Eret.

Hiccup shrugged. “What’s a talent if you don’t get to show it off to anyone?”

“And he is awfully pretty, isn’t he?” Astrid gripped Hiccup’s face by the chin and turned him awkwardly towards Eret. “Easily prettier than most of the girls in the Archipelago. Almost prettier than me, even!” Her eyes narrowed in delight.

Hiccup shook his head as best he could, ears pink. “Not even close, milady.”

Eret had of course noted Hiccup’s lithe appeal long before, but had never thought much of it. Hiccup was a little girl’s toy, a fresh baked bun ripe to be ripped apart, devoured, elbowed and trampled by real warriors, and likely would’ve been long ago, if he hadn’t had that magnificent wit.

Or if, as the case seemed to be, he hadn’t learned to use that soft, nonthreatening demeanor to his advantage.

Eret swallowed hard, trying not to let his mind wander too far down that path. Eret had never remotely considered Hiccup, or indeed any man, in that particular light, but in a fantastical, hypothetical situation, he supposed he could concede that Hiccup was a far more appealing option as a rut than most. If you had to rut a man at all, of course.

“Oho, what’s THAT?”

Eret gave a start as he heard Astrid coo, terrified that she had noticed the contemplative twitch of his still frustratingly not-quite-limp prick; only to look up and find that she was clasping at the front of Hiccup’s trousers instead.

Astrid gripped the modest bulge hungrily, staring Hiccup right in the face. “Poor darling. Eret and I having all this fun and leaving you with this angry dragon in your pocket, huh? You really should’ve said something!”

Hiccup’s hands pushed halfheartedly at her wrists as he cast an anxious gaze at Eret, what little visible of his skin a vibrant pink. “Haaah, Astrid, really, that can…. That can wait.”

“Not at all!” Astrid pouted, peeling up his web of clothes in a practiced manner to find the hem of his pants. “It isn’t fair that Eret and I have had our stuff out this whole time, and you get to hide yours.”

“A-astrid!” Hiccup laughed nervously, his resistance curiously confined to his face and upper body. Eret could only suspect it was merely a show of politeness.

Eret cleared his throat, trying to focus away tactfully, despite his prick giving another curious twinge. He would have to lop the thing off at this rate. “Really, Astrid, that– that isn’t necessary.”

“You ever seen another guy’s prick before, Eret?” Astrid drawled, gently peeling Hiccup’s free, though it was small enough that her hand mostly obscured it.

“Bathing,” Eret coughed. “I’ve never gone out of my way to, um…”

“Astrid,” Hiccup snorted. “You can’t just, um, tell a guy to– ”

“Why not?” she inquired, stroking him absently. “Boys are so funny. I don’t know why it would bother HIM. He’s a lot bigger.”

“…Thanks, Astrid,” Hiccup puffed sardonically.

Eret smoldered, trying not to let this trick him into looking.

“What?” Astrid chuckled, still tugging lovingly at his soft foreskin. “Anyone with eyes can see that.” With her opposite hand, she ruffled fondly at his hair. “Doesn’t mean he knows where the good bits are or how to reach them like you do.” She curved her thigh behind his and gave him a little nudge towards Eret. “Now get down there. It’s not everyday I get to see two pricks out for me, and I want to see ‘em side by side.”

Eret choked, trying to shuffle backward. “That's… that’s really okay.”

Hiccup, flaring red as a freckled Monstrous Nightmare, helpfully attempted to stopper, skidding on his metal heel as she guided him forward primarily with a fist around his prick. “Astrid, he probably doesn’t want to, hah…”

Astrid shrugged. “He shoved that thing in without even letting me look at it, so he owes me.” She glanced at Eret. “Unless you’re ashamed of it?” She grinned. “Not every prick can be as pretty as our dear Chief’s here.”

Eret swallowed hard. “I suppose it’s only fair,” he conceded reluctantly.

“Sorry,” Hiccup mouthed confidentially as Astrid sort of set him on the floor.

“Not at all,” Eret muttered, embarrassed, still trying not to let his eyes sink to the other man’s crotch.

“Boys,” Astrid snorted, settling down with them. “For Thor’s sake, Eret, relax!” she soothed, with a genuine warmth. “What are you afraid of? Hiccup’s not THAT scary, is he?”

Hiccup scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “That’d be a first.”

Astrid prowled eagerly nearer to Eret, but miraculously she made herself pause. “May I?” she inquired, with a pointed nod toward his restless monster.

Eret glanced halfway up at Hiccup, who smiled helplessly and gave a pointed tip of his head. Eret nodded numbly to the girl in reply.

The girl’s predatory eyes lit up with glee, and she enthusiastically, yet reverently, slid her fingers across his thick brown length, tucked them under, and scooped it up to tickle it under the belly, her other hand quick to offer support when her fingertips alone were not sufficient. “Wowwww!” she cooed, giggling as it sort of flopped like a dying fish in her hands. She eagerly gave it a stroke, peeling back the plush foreskin from its blooming purple head, blunt and musing like a yak’s snout. She whistled appreciatively as it throbbed and began to stiffen up again at her touch. “How can you bear to wear pants at all??” she teased, punching its blushing owner on the thigh.

The touch was nice enough that Eret couldn’t help but smile. “Well, it’s better than it freezing off, but… it's– it’s not easy,” he gurgled, supporting himself back on his hands to allow her more freedom.

Astrid looked back at Hiccup, lifting the thing pointedly with both hands. “You– you swallowed this whole thing right up to the curls??!”

Hiccup snorted, clearing his throat as if in memory. “You… were taking it pretty well yourself.”

Astrid scoffed. “You couldn’t get this whole thing inside me, could you, Eret?” she inquired in disbelief, giving it reverent strokes down its full length.

Eret shivered. “No, darling. I don’t know that there is a girl I could, though.”

Astrid smiled. “What about a BOY?”

Hiccup coughed. “Astrid!”

She shrugged. “What? It’s a fair question!” She peered across at him, contentedly caressing the beast. “You could take this thing on, couldn’t you?”

Hiccup scowled as gruffly as possible, his prick giving a pronounced, all-too-obvious twitch.

Astrid leaned closer to Eret confidentially. “I know you have all these guy issues to get over, but if you ever want to be balls deep in something that’s not a farm animal, I think Hiccup could probably handle you.” She toyed casually with his thick foreskin. “I think he’d rather take this than my forearm, anyway.”

“A-ASTRID!” Hiccup blustered, squirming uncomfortably.

“What? Isn’t it true?” Astrid insisted.

Hiccup swallowed hard, stroking anxiously at his hair. “Well– yeah, ha! But– Eret’s not that… He wouldn’t want to.”

Astrid tutted, hooking her fingers under Hiccup’s belt and dragging him closer. “What’s that you always say? Everyone likes sex?” She snorted, glancing back at Eret’s blustered face in evaluation, then at his still-quite-enthusiastic prick. “You see what you did by rutting me like that, Eret? You made my boyfriend all jealous.” She nodded towards Hiccup.

Indeed Astrid had dragged Hiccup close enough that they were in danger of touching, and despite really, really not wanting to, Eret couldn’t help but eye his friend’s penis warily in order to avoid any unwanted contact.

It was… pretty. Proud and pink and chubby (perhaps the only part of Hiccup one could describe as such) and quite petite, but if anything this made it too-perfect, like a little toy. It was speckled attractively with freckles, tufted with soft ginger-brown hair in a charming attempt at masculinity, and was easily less than half his size, though thick enough that Astrid’s fingers couldn’t quite connect all the way around it. It was twinging with a life of its own, giving angry flicks and dripping with a clear syrup, light enough that it had risen to a sharp angle over his belly.

Eret swallowed hard, rather surprised he hadn’t lost his arousal immediately. On the contrary, seeing something sort of forbidden, so incredibly aroused to be in his presence, only seemed to enliven him further, sending confusing, tingling pulses of need twisting through his guts.

…How did one even go about rutting a man??

Eret grunted, furrowing his brow and ripping his gaze away, his long prick twinging with hunger.

Astrid had gleefully taken one penis in each hand, now, stroking them gently in sync.

“Eret, you don’t mind if I try something, do you?” she inquired, giving him a sort of evaluating look.

“Uuuuumm…” Astrid was kind of terrifying, and he was at least halfway sure this might not be something he would like, but it was hard for him to think with her stroking him like that… He shook his head numbly.

Astrid chuckled. “Well, let’s see if you like it, and if you don’t, I’ll knock it off.” A moment later he felt something damp and incredibly hot press against the underside of his prick, making him gasp with pleasure. That was – it was –!

Eret swallowed hard, nearly jerking back and finding somehow that he couldn’t bring himself to. Astrid had pressed Hiccup’s twinging penis right up tight against his, and he could feel Hiccup’s heartbeat twitching through it, an obscene slick of the other man’s wetness drooling against him. Hiccup was just as enraptured as he was, gasping and making little whimpers. Eret was surprised how erotic those sounds were.  


What kind of sounds would Hiccup make if he were getting…. Uuugh!

“Anybody want me to stop?” Astrid purred curiously, stroking them gently together now. The only response was happy sighs and moans and gurgles, certainly nothing to dissuade her.

Eret’s eyes shyly traveled up Hiccup’s shuddery belly, all the way to his face, which was sort of pink and squinty. Eret throbbed helplessly. To think, Hiccup was feeling the very same thing he was, this very same forbidden heat of another aroused, throbbing penis against his own– and he was enjoying it just as much–!

Hiccup squirmed nervously, the feeling delightful, making Eret hiss. “Ah– Astrid…!” He blushed richly. “I… I don’t think he’ll like it if I, you know, go off all over his prick…”

Astrid smirked. “He liked it well enough when I did. Three times. Well… Almost three…” She continued her calculated squeezing of them, even as Hiccup whimpered.

His sounds, so rare and so wrong, made Eret’s stomach twist longingly.

“What?” Astrid asked Hiccup again hastily, loosening her grip at once. “Are you really going to go?”

Hiccup shuddered, giving Eret a sort of hungry, appreciative glance, then nodded furiously, raising a plaintive brow at his lady. “Yeah…” he gasped. “Yeah, I think I am…”

“Well, Eret,” Astrid purred, focusing on her lovely toys. “What do you think? You wouldn’t mind some nice hot boy cooties on you, would you? Maybe you’ll come too and make a big, sticky mess…”

Eret’s face contorted in pained contemplation. Gods. It was a very real possibility. But… he still wanted to…

Eret swallowed hard. “…Pull him off,” he managed, physically trying to extract himself.

Astrid blinked for a moment in surprise, but let him go, giving Hiccup a stiff choke grip around the base of his penis that made him gasp and shudder as if from a chill. “Aw, Eret, I thought we were getting along so well.”

Eret grunted, hefting himself up onto his knees. His fingers played restlessly over his thighs, anxious. “Hiccup… how much of a Sword Stealer are you? I mean… What would you think if I were to, well…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it. It was too bizarre. All he knew was that his prick was all too enthusiastic about the idea and maybe that was convincing enough.

Hiccup cast a quick glance at Astrid, then blinked back in surprise. His belly shuddered and his knees trembled. “You mean you… really want to…? With me??”

Eret furrowed his brow, grunting gruffly. “Well, it’s going to be someone. I’m about to go crazy.”

Astrid coughed pointedly. “It’s not going to be me again, I can tell you that. I’m going to be sore for weeks.”

Hiccup snorted. “Sounds like both of us will be.” He glanced back at Eret. “I– I, sure!! I think I’d really…” He coughed. “I mean, not to be weird or anything but, you can definitely, um….”

Eret shook with a disbelieving chuckle. “Good luck keeping it from being weird,” he grunted.

Hiccup snorted, shaking his head. His usually-deft hands were trembling as he found the hem of his pants beneath his armor and began eagerly peeling them away from his freckled rear. “I– I think you’ll find that one snug hole isn’t all that different from any other, really.” He directed Eret a wry smirk. “You can always close your eyes and picture someone prettier if it’s too much for you.”

“That’d be difficult,” Astrid snorted, biffing him on the side of the head. “I’ll just whip out my tits for him if it comes to that.”

Eret smirked. “Darling, there’s not a chance you’d do it anyway?”

She snorted. “After that I won’t.” She shook her head, bumping Hiccup with her shoulder. “Poor sap doesn’t think he’s man enough to take you.”

Hiccup smoothed the hem of his pants out low on his slender, freckled thighs, still bound in by his extensive flight equipment. “I… think he’s pretty clearly man enough to take me,” he snorted, gesturing with a nod. “He volunteered, didn’t he?”

Eret swallowed hard. He had, hadn’t he? …Why had he?

“You’re curious,” Hiccup answered the question he hadn’t asked. “And a little too deprived, probably,” he added, as a sardonic aside to Astrid, who snorted her agreement.

Eret gave a weak chuckle. “Probably…” He recaptured his prick and stroked it thoughtfully, biting his lip. He wasn’t even sure exactly how he was going to go about it, but the sight of skin, and something about the lithe, small-but-quite-male shape of Hiccup himself enraptured him more and more. He almost wished Hiccup would remove more… more skin would make this a whole lot easier. But he couldn’t bring himself to ask, really.

And there WAS something kind of… enticing about him leaving it all on. A demeaning, utter lack of ceremony to it, not so far off from the impromptu ravishment his girlfriend had received.

Eret’s prick drooled longingly. 

Astrid spat with relish onto her fingers. “How long has it been since you had a proper rut, Hiccup?”

“This morning,” Hiccup snorted. “Or did you mean, aside from you?”

Astrid tutted. “I mean, you can take this thing, right? No problem?”

Hiccup tilted his head back and forth. “Weeeell… We’ll see. I’ll give it my best shot anyway.”

She glared suddenly back at Eret. “Go ahead and go nuts… but if you ruin my boyfriend, I ruin YOU.”

Hiccup blushed back at him too. “It’ll be fine,” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. “I’m a lot tougher than I look.”

“You are pretty stretchy,” Astrid conceded. She approached him with the wet fingers and gave him a nudge. “Lean back,” she hissed. “Lemme….” Eret watched the young man hiss as Astrid reached underneath him and curled her fingers into him in a deft, practiced manner.

Eret swallowed hard. He supposed it shouldn’t have surprised him which hole they were talking about, but for some reason witnessing the reality was rather surreal.

“You!” Astrid interjected, looking back at Eret. “Get some spit on that prick, too. I’m not letting you go in there dry.”

Eret blinked, but obeyed numbly, hawking into his palm. “Is this…” he pondered as he spread it onto his hungry prick. “Is this really… Are you really okay with this? I mean, does it really feel good… like that?”

“Hahh…” Hiccup choked. “It’s weird, but… yeah. There’s this good spot up in there and… Well, there you go.”

“He loves it,” Astrid elaborated. “Just wait until you hear him.” She laughed warmly at Eret’s skeptical face, withdrawing her fingers and wiping them off on the underside of Hiccup’s shirt. “If you’re worried he’s not clean or something, don’t be. I gave him a good licking this morning.”

Hiccup elbowed her. “A–Astrid, really?!”

Eret’s nose wrinkled. “….Wonderful.”

Hiccup shook his head apologetically and leaned back in a rather relaxed way on his elbows. He shrugged and smiled up at Eret, giving him a pointed nod, inviting him closer.

Eret shuffed nearer on his knees, trying to curb his eagerness. “Now, um… how do I…” It seemed awkward to try to lay on top of him with that hard little penis sort of poking up at him.

Hiccup was flushed, his breath heaving and excited. “It’s a little trickier than slipping it into a girl, but I mean… Otherwise it’s about the same. Just… IN, I mean… You should probably, um, go kind of slow, though.” His breath caught in his throat as Astrid slid underneath him, propping up his head and shoulders helpfully on her lap. He tipped his fluffy head back for a moment appreciatively.

“Right,” Eret grunted, leaning over him awkwardly, his penis wagging forlornly. Hiccup seemed so delicate and tiny underneath him. He swallowed hard, trying to keep his gaze away from Astrid, who seemed entirely gleeful about the whole thing.

Hiccup’s eyes were bright and shiny, encouraging. “Do you want me to– ?” He gave a pointed nod downward.

“S-sure.” Eret nodded numbly.

Hiccup didn’t have to look down; his fingers slipped along Eret’s belly, drew through the coarse fuzz there, and slid up the length of his wet, thick, pulsing prick. His breath shook a little. “For Thor’s sake, it’s so big,” he breathed softly, taking it reverently and sort of tipping it downward, aiming it underneath. Eret hissed as he felt the tip touched to warm shuddery skin.

Hiccup blinked hesitantly. “Are you ready?”

Eret swallowed, already wanting to buck. “I think so.”

Hiccup chuckled. “Good. I’m not so sure I am.” He snorted, biting his tongue. “Well, here goes…!”

Eret gave a sort of whimper as his prick was given a sort of tweak, Hiccup gripping it too tightly and the length getting an uncomfortable bend for a second or two– then he hissed as his tip was utterly choked somewhere firm and piping hot and wet. “For Thor’s sake,” he cursed. Then he cursed again, even more colorfully. “That's… that’s it? That’s your– ?!”

Hiccup didn’t seem to be able to enunciate words for a moment. He nodded furiously. “Hahhh. Yep. That would be… it. Oooosh, I can’t believe they, they let you BE that huge!” He winced a little, giving an eager nudge of his hips to invite him deeper inside.

Eret hesitated, then slowly pushed, feeling Hiccup’s hard, incredibly tight male body grudgingly allow more and more of him inside. He had to stop for a moment, gasping as if he’d forgotten to breathe.

Hiccup was utterly shuddering, his hips giving hungry little twitches. “Is it… are you okay?” he breathed.

Eret nodded, his eyes shut tight. “I–” He almost choked to death on spit. “I didn’t think it would feel like… feel this good.” He opened his eyes again with a sudden realization and looked down Hiccup’s body in horror. He was met with the bizarre sight of Hiccup’s thin bare belly with a definite swell poking out from deep inside it– was that –? He gave the slightest movement, and his guts filled with ice. That was his prick. Eret swallowed hard. He was utterly impaling the tiny man, and he wasn’t even all in. Eret’s eyes flicked up in horror. “This doesn’t hurt? How doesn’t this hurt you??”

Astrid snorted, her fingers curled adoringly into Hiccup’s hair. “So when you’re rutting a boy you decide to show a little concern, huh?” she jibed playfully.

Eret wavered. It did seem to be a bizarre compulsion when she pointed it out that way. “It’s just– I mean… he’s not really BUILT to take prick like– um, a girl…”

Astrid caressed her future husband’s face, shaking her head. “Please, Eret. If anyone’s built to take prick, it’s Hiccup.”

“Ah, Astriiid,” Hiccup pealed in protest. His eyes were still whimsically, joyfully shiny as they glowed up at Eret, and he gave another insistent wriggle. “It… does hurt, a little,” he choked. “But it feels– Like I said, there’s this SPOT in there, and– Gods!” He shivered happily, looking down at himself as well in a sort of sheepish pride. “Please?” He looked back up hungrily. “Go on. I want to– feel it… It’s a– a LOT better if you move.”

Eret swallowed hard, his belly full of electricity. He gave a hesitant nudge, which made Hiccup gasp. “You’re – You’re sure?”

“Eret, please… Come on!!” Hiccup’s brows furrowed a little, and Eret found himself being embraced as Hiccup climbed up against him, wrapping his hips in lithe, strong dragon-riding legs and pulling him deep, deep inside. Eret couldn’t help but give another buck after that, and another; he was amazed how very potently intact his masculine instinct to rut had remained, especially hearing Hiccup sort of squeal in response.

“Yessss! Yes, yes, likethat–!” the little man chattered joyfully. “Ohhh…! There you go–! Ahhh, yessss….” He tipped his head back to look up at Astrid. “He’s s-sooo bi–iig…! So – really BIG–! I can't– Mmn!”

She stroked his hair contentedly. “I know.”

Eret smiled, finding it easier and easier to let himself just thrust. Hiccup was just as tight and hot and squeezy as any woman– maybe tighter!– and for Thor’s sake, those SOUNDS he made, the eagerness with which he clung back and his firm male muscles milked the prick inside him–! 

Perhaps holes really were just holes.

“Eret,” Hiccup wheezed, giving a nod downwards. “Look.”

Eret blinked. His entire prick had made it inside, all the way up to the testicles, leaving Hiccup’s stretchy belly filled with the hard bulge of his presence to an almost grotesque degree. No woman had ever taken him this deep, but this tenacious, adorable freak of a little MAN… Eret let out a half-laugh, incredulous. “Hiccup–! You… you precious little wench!”  


Hiccup chuckled sheepishly. “Haven’t heard that one before.”

“I like it,” Astrid added helpfully.

Hiccup shook his head, grinning. “I am… mmn, completely stuffed… with Eret.” He blinked. “Gross.”

“Really gross.” Eret smiled haphazardly, his belly sick with fuzzies, unsure how to process these feelings, though his body certainly had few qualms itself. He settled more of his weight over Hiccup’s tiny frame, feeling now that hard, short, wet little penis jabbing into his belly, hot skin against hot skin, making Hiccup wheeze and twinge happily. “Ohhoh, yeeeeah, gods, Eret–!”

It was an alien sensation. Eret loved it and it disgusted him and the confusion had him thrusting brutally, squeezing the most intoxicating whimpers and howls and gasps from Hiccup, who nonetheless still clung to him adoringly and gazed him right in the eye (when Eret could bear to look) in admiration, and perhaps a hint of challenge, breaking only to give happy glances up at Astrid from time to time as he was jarred violently in her grip.

Eret was surprised rutting a man did little to harm his sense of manliness. He supposed it was a highly irrational fear. On the contrary, there was something very Alpha indeed about doing over the chief of a tribe like a woman– well, it was nothing like a woman; he felt no obligation to be warm and squishy. It was a more violent satisfaction akin to a good wrestling match with a friend, though Hiccup managed to be his equal in a frustratingly immaterial way, absorbing his gratuitous punishment like it was something delicious and openly begging for more.

Astrid wrapped her boy’s shoulders more securely, laughing. “He isn’t being too rough?”

At this point Hiccup couldn’t seem to answer in coherent words, but nuzzled his head back against her happily, a dazed, sparkly look in his eyes, a trembling mess. “He's… uuughmmm,” he laughed weakly. “He’s ngh, he’s, haha… DESTROYING me– hee.”

She smiled. “When he’s done with you, you’re just going to be a big sticky mess, aren’t you? A big puddle of squished Hiccup.”

He beamed. “Pr-oahh– ! Probably…”

Eret hissed, feeling the familiar throb embrace his testicles again. He swallowed hard between a couple hungry gasps. Was he really going to come… inside a man?? He leaned forward heavily into the crook of Hiccup’s neck and shoulder. “Hiccup…” he muffled into that dragony-smelling hair. “I’ve gotta, I’m gonna– fill you all up–! Is that– ? I mean…”

Astrid stroked Eret’s head too, now that it was more in reach. “Mmm, yeah. Go on and do it. Get this stupid boy all swollen up with babies,” she snorted teasingly, with a wistful relish.

Eret snorted, giving an amused shake of his head. It seemed damn nonsensical, and yet it was the only compulsion he had left in his body.

“Ahhh, Astriiid,” Hiccup managed to squeal, turning his head to brush his lips against Eret’s ear and cheek. His breath was hot and herbed and rattly, enraptured by unnatural sensation. Eret felt his little arms clinging around him, snug and sure. “It’s okay,” he purred. “Do it. Go on and do it inside there. All over. It’ll be– gods! Mnnngh…!” He dissolved into whimpers, pressing his lips hungrily if aimlessly to Eret’s face in a primal unabashed hunger. “I’m going to– I’m going to, too. Is that–?”

“You’re going to–?” Eret muttered, almost in disbelief. “From having your guts destroyed?”

Hiccup nodded fervently against him. “From, yes! Hahh. Getting all filled up with your– Mnn!”

Eret tipped his forehead into the man’s fluffy hair. “Go on, then, you… you spicy wench.”

Eret’s thrusts slowed until they were long and deep; he savored the stomach-twisting sensation of his entire length sliding all the way out and all the way back into the slippery, welcoming, snug sensations of Hiccup’s hot sloshy guts, feeling the other boy’s penis twinging blissfully, more and more frantically, against his belly. “Uuughh…” he moaned, sliding in hard, again, again, wondering if Hiccup’s insides would be all knotted and bruised from this. Maybe Hiccup liked it that way.

Finally he pushed in one more time, hard and deep, feeling himself entirely embraced in twinging blissful hotness, and went off, hard, wriggling and packing jet after jet of boiling seeds deep inside, and trying his hardest to be even deeper, making Hiccup whimper and moan.

The small man reached an arm back to cling around Astrid’s thigh fervently, looking up at her with blissful, half-lidded eyes as his body writhed with waves of pleasure. “Astrid…” Eret heard him hiss over his own loud groans. “Astrid, he’s so big, he's– mgh– he’s com– ing, he’s coming inside me…”

She stroked his hair, eyes gleaming. “Loads and loads?”

Hiccup nodded fervently. “Loads'nloads'nloads, so much… it’s HOT… inside… I can't…’M going to– ohhh, gods, ’m all–“

Hiccup cried out piteously, his legs clamping hungrily around Eret. Eret turned his head, not even finished with his own orgasm yet, and found Hiccup forcing him into a sloppy, stubbly kiss as sweet and poisonous and intoxicating as rank mead, moaning even more loudly around that deft herbed tongue as he could feel Hiccup’s tight muscles suddenly seize and twitch forcefully around him, milking him to choke out every last drop.  


He felt Hiccup’s penis jerking crazily a couple seconds before he felt a perverted, messy, sticky heat coat his entire belly, delightfully, worryingly hot, so incredible his own empty prick gave a few more hopeful twinges even as it grudgingly limpened, utterly milked dry.

“Ohhh, gods. Oh my gods,” Eret whined, pressing his forehead to the small man’s. He was all covered in his conquest’s blatant pleasure, in gloriously detestable wasted seeds. Well, not really wasted…

He felt Hiccup’s fingers cling to his hair for a second, his small body writhing and throbbing such that Eret almost worried that he would soon feel the little body’s heart stop beating against the head of his prick.

Then Hiccup’s arms wrapped around his body and just hugged him, a friend’s hug, firm and close. Hiccup smiled, sighing a deep warm breath.

“How was that?” he murmured at length, big green eyes heavily lidded. “Pretty disgusting, huh?”

Eret snorted weakly. “Really, really, disgusting.” He sighed heavily. “You're… I–liked it.”

“You…” Hiccup gurgled, “totally wrecked me. My insides are… soup.”

“…Sorry.” Eret murmured. He lifted his head a bit, looking Hiccup over. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay??”

Hiccup smiled. “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”

“Mm…” Eret let himself settle again, half-wondering how Hiccup wasn’t being utterly crushed. Maybe he was. Even so, he could feel his throbbing heart in the flesh wrapped around him, his strong, tiny body swelling with vital little breaths.

Astrid was running her hands over their heads approvingly. It might’ve been nice enough for Eret to nod off entirely, until he remembered the wet spot over his stomach. He moved, almost to pull himself up, then thought twice, knowing how quickly a warm wet spot could become icy here on Berk. For similar reasons, he let himself stay tucked among Hiccup’s hot pulsing insides; he was unwakeably flaccid, but his length and Hiccup’s hard muscles kept him precariously from slipping out.

Eret grumbled a little, not sure how to react to the enthusiastic dose of Hiccup-nog sticking to his skin. “Gods….” he wheezed. “You… came so much…”

Astrid laughed. “Welcome to my world, Eret. Boys are dead set to get everyone sticky.”

Eret blinked. He’d never considered that aspect of the female condition. Part of him found it incredibly awkward and disgusting, but at the same he found himself oddly appreciative of how obvious and material a token of approval it was. It was certainly something he understood, not like the mystery of the female counterpart.

Hiccup snorted. “Sorry. You, um, did a good job.”

“More like he’s big enough that it doesn’t matter,” Astrid pointed out.

Hiccup tilted his head back and forth in subtle agreement, but smiled admiringly regardless.

Eret sighed, limp and heavy, near-dead over Hiccup’s tiny frame. There was something satisfying about sort of smothering his conquest underneath him like this; the brute domination helped quell his uncertainties. “I hardly even touched your prick…” he pointed out, still rather baffled.

Hiccup breathed softly into his ear, almost frustratingly content with being squished. Eret wondered what he chewed to make his breath to smell so nice. “It’s not really… like that,” Hiccup snorted. “It’s more like, you squeezed 'em out of me from the inside. Sort of.”

“…Oh.” Eret blinked again. In a strange way it did make sense. Helplessly, his prick twitched in its sleep at the idea. “That sounds… nice.” His nose wrinkled. “Aside from the rod up the arse part.”

Hiccup chuckled. “You know, it’s surprisingly worth it. And there’s no other good way to reach it, so…”

“We’ll show you sometime,” joined Astrid. “If you’re not afraid of Hiccup’s big scary penis, of course.”

“Ahh….” Eret started and then hesitated. When it came to the idea of being penetrated himself, he was, indeed, very much afraid. But then again…

“Shut up, Astrid,” Hiccup groaned, but it was obviously tinged with affection. He squirmed contentedly, squished between his lovers. “I certainly wouldn’t be, ah, opposed to just more of this sometime,” he mumbled into Eret’s ear. “Only if you want, though.”

“So what, you get to hog him now?” pouted Astrid. “I don’t think I can handle that.”

Hiccup smiled. “I can share.”

Eret grumbled, shifting himself heavily, perhaps even possessively over Hiccup as he found himself about to doze off. “I swear to Thor, you Berk people are absolutely barmy as boars.”

Hiccup and Astrid exchanged an amused, knowing glance. Astrid biffed Eret on the shoulder. “You know you like it.”

“I do,” breathed Eret, into the dragony hair of the little chief that had outright Stolen his Sword, as the loveliest lady on Berk began to knead fondly at his shoulders. “And I daresay it’ll be the death of me.”


End file.
